Julian Dean Diary
Bandage is off!
Bandage is off! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /?>
Back To Give It Another Nudge!
Well...I'm back. I've got two arms that function well - more or less - and have no problems riding the bike. Last week, I started back on the road, mixing it with the trainer until I regained my confidence and rhythm, and this week I've been on the road full time.
One thing is for sure, if cycling was about riding on the home trainer, I would never have come this far. Despite it being one of the things I hate doing most in my World, I managed some mega efforts. But it was only the possibility of riding the TDF that kept me motivated. Even then it was f***** hard to do. One of the hardest things I've ever had to get my head around. The fact that it's just starting to come into summer and we are beginning to dip into the 35 degrees celcius days, didn't make it any easier. In the end, being a pro athlete, you have to do what you have to do if you want to have a chance. No matter how much you hate something, you know that if it's going to get you closer to what you want, then ya just gotta grin and bare it. Sacrifice is much of what this life is about. The thought of getting what I want out of my career and the feeling of pure elation when I get it, is what drives me most through these crap moments.
I complain how hard it was but Carole was the one who had to put up with me. I was pretty miserable through most of it - especially when I first started back on the trainer. Training on the trainer had its benefits but it certainly isn't equal to the road. You can work hard but you can feel yourself not making as much headway as you would if you were expending the same amount of effort on the road. Mentally, this cracked me at times. Carole took things as they came and kept me in the right frame of mind to stick with it and helping me to focus on just taking things one day at a time.
Through it all, I don't really think that physically, I came out of it too bad. I've still got a lot of work to do if I want to go to the Tour - most of which I think will be convincing the Directors that I am fit and ready without having raced a whole lot. I'm confident that I'll be ready but I'm not so sure that they are. I hope that at the Tour of Swiss, I can convince them of it. For sure, no matter how I am at the Tour de Swiss, I'll be a whole lot better by the Tour de France. Good form is lying just beneath the surface and soon I'll be riding well. I just hope that the powers, who decide my fate, will feel it and see