Return to racing - Up against it

Hi all, <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /?>

Well, once again I'm ready to roll.   It has been three weeks since the Tour of Denmark and I've just completed my final block of training for the Tour of Spain.   I'm now resting up getting ready to take the line for Saturday's start.

We're all here in   <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /?>
Gijon in the northern
provence,
Asturias, for the team time trial on Saturday.   I've been here a few times.   The two that I remember most, is the Vuelta Asturias which I did with Mercury in 1998.   This was my first pro race in
Europe and the prologue of that tour was also here in
Gijon.  The second time I'll also never forget, but for very different reasons, was during the Vuelta 2001.   We were coming into
Gijon for the stage finish when our director told us over the radio about some plane crashing in the middle of
New York .  The date was September 11th and as I heard this, I didn't think too much of it.   Instead, I was concentrating on preparing for the bunch finish into
Gijon.  It wasn't till after the stage as we were driving back to the hotel in the team bus that we started to realise the seriousness of what had happened.   Being on an American team at the time, the feeling inside was eerie and uneasy.  At first there was a question mark hovering over the team as to whether we would continue the tour.   However it was decided the team should carry on.   We all wore black arm bands to show our respect.   The rest of the tour saw us with constant police supervision around our cars, buses and riders.

It was a time which brought with it a lot of changes - both in the world and with me personally.   Within the following days of 9/11, I would sign a new contract with a new team, CSC-Tiscali, in the hope of getting to bigger and better things.   I carried ambitions to ride the Tour de France with my new team and bring myself up to the next level.   Things looked good for me, despite the hurt that much of the world was feeling over the events of Sept 11.   Unfortunately, things have not worked out so well since then and at the moment, although as a pro-cyclist I am physically in a better place, my future for me is a lot less certain.

I still, at this point, don't know what my plans are for next year nor do I have a slight hint as to what might be happening or where I might be going.   I had hoped that by this time I would have things done, and given the points and results that I've had this year, I thought that signing a new contract would have been relatively straight forward.   I have had my