Julian Dean Diary
Pre-Tour de France - The insanity of it all.
Even gave me a dope pair of eyewear for little mate. He loves kicking around the house wearing mine so no doubt he?ll be fizzing when he gets his very own pair?
Today, was a little more calmer. Finally the news came through that the riders implicated in the Spanish affair would not be allowed to start. Still my feelings are much the same. I?m not sure if it?s a good thing or a bad thing for cycling. As I said before, I understand and agree that it can't be ignored and something has to be done but at the same time it doesn?t feel right to race the Tour de France without the big riders that make the Tour the competition that it is. But something had to be done and now that it has been, hopefully we can just get on with it. I feel really sad for cycling at the moment and I feel real sorry for the fans who are probably more disillusioned with the whole thing than I am?It saddens me that only cycling has been so openly named and shamed in this scandal yet the names of the other athletes from other sports involved, remain suppressed. There have been the odd rumours about certain footballers, etc, but the media hasn?t bothered to have a feeding frenzy on them. Why is that???
Anyway, can?t waste my energy on things like that?.No matter what comes of any of this over the next few weeks, I?ll just continue to try my best and hope that I?m going well enough to give a good performance.
All in all, it has been an odd couple of days leading into the Tour from which I am now just over 12hrs from starting. I have experienced a lot of different emotions over the last couple of days and it would take me a lot more time than I have, to write and explain them all. I?m happy and proud to be here. I?ve worked hard and battled hard to be here and even though I?m feeling a lot of pressure from the team to perform because I?ve had such crap season to date, it?s just part of what I have to cope with at times like this. A lot of the time I?ve been made to feel like I?m lucky to be here. Which is kinda funny?.Haven?t felt lucky all year!!! Bottom line is though that they know what I?m capable of and that?s why I?m here. Even though I'm a little under done, I will be better than I have been up to now. Of that I am sure.
So here we go: The Tour de France 2006.