Dave's Dogmatic Tour de France Dribbles

News & Results

07/16/2003| 0 comments
by Dave Osborne

Dave's Dogmatic Tour de France Dribbles

Prologue - Stage 10

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Inferior Campy equipment takes win from Millar .

 

Stage 1

What do dominoes, bowling, and bicycling have in common?

When one goes, they all go! Misfortune ends the tour for Leipheimer and Lotz.

Petacchi wins stage and I?m moderately impressed. Blaming LeBlanc for poor choice of course layout makes me feel better.

 

Stage 2

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Hamilton
starts with a broken collarbone. I?m impressed cause I cried like a baby everytime I took a step when I broke mine.
Hamilton
now becomes the sentimental favorite. Jeguo and Finot nearly complete 196 km together and have fans cheering for the underdogs to take a stage win. Along the way, A French TV motor beans Jeguo and Finot waits while he changes bikes. I thought Italians where bad drivers! Cooke wins while USPS team is boring to watch.

 

Stage 3

This time there is a lone break by Geslin who goes solo about 70 km before being gobbled up. I still love cheering for the underdogs. Some French guy, Nazon, picks up time bonus?s in the intermediate sprints and ends up wearing the yellow jersey. The French now have something to cheer about since being liberated in World War II. Oh yeah, that Petacchi guy wins the stage.

 

Stage 4

Team time trails are so cool to watch, it?s a guy?s version of the ballet. USPS dominates using superior Shimano equipment! Practically the whole friggin team rockets into the top 10. Pena gets the yellow, nice of the Posties to let someone else wear it. Bianchi did a good job. Break out the cigars. Would like to have partied with the Posties that night.

 

Stage 5

Petacchi wins again and the commentators start talking nonsense about how he is the next Cipollini. I?m thinking Phil and Paul are drinking to much vino in their commentary box. Petacchi?s may be crossing the line first, but the whole sprint looks so ragged. It?s not like the good ole days with Cipo when Saeco and Domina Vacanze would perform like poetry in motion for Cipo?kinda like that guy ballet thing again. Pena has a happy birthday by wearing the yellow again. Oh yeah, I think it was Vicioso who had a bad crash during the sprint, OUCH!

 

Stage 6

Geslin goes off again and O?Grady goes with him. These guys almost do 200 km before being sucked up. I spilled beer all over myself cheering for them! It?s like having a bet on a 100 to 1 shot in a horse race and the favorites are on their heels coming down the front stretch! I?d like to buy those guys a beer. Another crash takes out McEwen and Zabel with about 2 km to go. It probably didn?t affect Petacchi winning another stage. I think he must be the next Cipo, blah, blah, blah. After hearing that from the commentators, then they starting ragging on USPS for having Pena haul water bottles. All he did was go back on his own to get a bottle for Lance when he saw he was

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