I'm here in Italy just having done the first stage of Tirreno-Adriatico.
Since Algarve it has really been about trying to make all the right decisions about training and racing. At the time they seem like decisions that are going to make or break my season but when it's all put into perspective, the reality of it is, is that it's not going to make too much difference. It's almost though, as an athlete, you have this subconcious need to make drama and stress for yourself about these things when at the end of the day, within reason, these decisions aren't going to make so much difference.
Part of my desire to make the best decisions for my lead up to MSR, led me to filling an empty spot that came up in the Tour of Murcia after Zup got sick. I umm'ed and ahh'd over whether it was good for me to go and in the end I decided to go. I thought getting a bit of racing into my legs, instead of staying at home training, would be good for my lead-up to MSR. Once at the race, I couldn't decide if I should stop early and then do a couple days training at home, or finish the race, which would give me only 1 day at home before travelling to this race. Then, after finally making that decision, I did 3 days of the race and came home but then had trouble deciding how to structure my 3 days training left before coming here! I was painful to myself..... and no doubt to Carole who was my sounding board for all possible options for each and every decision waiting to be decided!
I was thinking that everthing was going to be the difference between winning or losing at Milan San Remo or doing well here at Tirreno Adriatico. Every decision seemed a major. I only wanted to get it all right for this next important block of racing but in the process, I just stressed myself out completely and lost perspective of the bigger picture, I guess. But then I s'pose that's part of the make-up of an athlete's mind. That is what makes us. Trying to get it exactly right.
However, after today's first stage I feel like I've made all the wrong choices. I wasn't good at all today and it was a stage where I should've been good. It was a final that would normally be perfect for me and I was bad. We had a 4km climb, 15km from the finish - not too unlike the finish of San Remo - and when we got to the bottom of it I couldn't follow the second group, let alone the front group!!!
So I'll have to see how the rest of the week here goes. I'm not sure why I didn't go better today. Anyway, I know that I've worked bloody hard during the period before this block of racing so it's a tough situation to be in. As usual I just hope my week gets better.
